Starbucks Nation

I read this morning that Starbucks profits went down 28% last quarter. Could be I was out of town last week that accounted for that drop in sales. I thought I was going to a fairly populated area, but according to the Starbucks Store Locater, I was staying more than ten miles from my nearest Starbucks. Apparently Tampa is in a very vast, remote region of the Southern U.S. I did manage to visit twice during the week, so my Starbucks purchases we’re down 80%. Maybe that’s how I paid for the vacation….

But forgetting the economic damage I caused, what about the emotional hardship I suffered? We have a deal with Starbucks: we’ll become madly addicted to your product as long as you make sure we’re never more than five minutes away from one of your stores. Where I live, I’m no more than five minutes away from five stores. I pass seven stores on my commute to work. And recently, when they tore down an old gas station in my neighborhood, the prayers of legions were answered when they opened one up on that corner, and it even had a drive thru! But last week, I might has well been on an island.

I missed my coffee house brew. I think I actually missed the annoying hyper-caffeinated baristas. I missed how they force you speak in multiple languages when you order a drink. I was missed the evolved experience that lesser- types might just consider “waiting.” I missed how sometimes they ask you your name and write it on your cup and sometimes they don’t. I missed that, however awkwardly you place your order, they neatly repeat back to you, probably hoping you do it right next time: “Okay, that’s a “Triple Grande, non-fat, extra hot latte. That’ll be $4.51.”

But this will be good, I thought. Break out of the routine. Find an authentic little beach café and get your coffee from an aging hippy. And this is exactly what I did. I found a little joint just like that, three blocks down with a funny name. Okay, this is healthy. I went in an ordered a latte. Good. I asked him to make it a triple. No problem. This was great! With the help of a man in a flowered shirt, I was breaking the bonds of corporate America which has sold me a Starbucks franchise, one cup at a time.

But then I asked too much:

“Can you make the milk extra hot?”
“Sure,” he said. “But we don’t use milk, we use powder.”
“Huh?” And that explained the sign on the door.

It’s nice to be away, but it’s good to be home.

Fred Nahhat is DPTV Director, On-Air Fundraising